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[30 Jan 2005|04:01am]
new eljay name...
silenced_shadow

addme.
choked.
swallow me like wine.

I found one....!!! [29 Jan 2005|09:37am]
[ mood | happy ]

I found a boy, oh yes I did.
I found an incredible boy.
I found an intelligent boy.
I found a beautiful boy.
I found a sweeet boy.

This boy is ohso wonderful.
He makes me happy, just to even look at him, i smile.
Im happy.
really, I am.<33

8 choked.
swallow me like wine.

[27 Jan 2005|07:00pm]
[ mood | confused ]

ive had all of this confusion build up inside me, and its about to burst out, i can feel it. And you wonder why i've been acting so weird lately, this is why.
just letting you know.

<3

choked.
swallow me like wine.

[22 Jan 2005|04:04pm]
[ mood | artistic ]


Feeling Free is our modern DiseaseCollapse )

9 choked.
swallow me like wine.

[21 Jan 2005|02:56pm]
[ mood | rejected ]

Im at the point, where I have no fucking idea what to do anymore.
Everything is so confusing.

.my feelings for you have not faded away.
=[

choked.
swallow me like wine.

wow. horrible. [17 Jan 2005|06:19pm]
[ mood | blah ]

WHICH #'s AM I?
1= I like you
2= I love you
3= You're funny
4= You're cool
5= I want you to call me
6= I want to hug you
7= You're nerdy
8= You have good taste in clothes
9= I hate you
10= You're boring
11= You're lame
12= You have an awesome personality
13= I want to go out with you
14= I don't know you, but I want to get to know you
15= You're my best buddy

3 choked.
swallow me like wine.

I so stole this from Miss Caren. [10 Jan 2005|05:08pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

[x]. name = Kandas Marie Hall
[x]. nicknames = Kandi, Kandy-Kane, Kandi-Ass, Kansas, Texas
[x]. birthday = 6/5/89
[x]. height = 5'5
[x]. shoe size = 8 1/2
[x]. hair color = blonde
[x]. length = medium
[x]. siblings = 1 older brother, 2 younger brothers.
[x]. pets = Bandit--oldest Dog, Hemi--youngest dog.

last
[x]. time you saw your crush = today at school.
[x]. movie you rented = White oleander.
[x]. movie you bought = Dodgeball.
[x]. song you listened to = 'Lover I dont have to love' bright eyes.
[x]. song that was stuck in your head = 'this photograph is proof, i know you know.' TBS
[x]. song you've downloaded = a happy birthday song.
[x]. cd you bought = Dillinger Escape Plan
[x]. cd you listened to = Bright Eyes
[x]. person you've called = Drew...and its BUSY!
[x]. person that's called you = Alex.
[x]. tv show you've watched = boy meets world.
[x]. person you were thinking of = My grandmother and Drew at the same time.

do
[x]. you have a b/f or g/f? = yes.
[x]. you have a crush on someone? = yes.
[x]. you wish you could live somewhere else? = yes.
[x]. you think about suicide? = no.
[x]. you believe in online dating? = no.
[x]. others find you attractive? = some, not many.
[x]. you want more piercings? = yes..lip and eyebrow.
[x]. you want tattoos? = maybe one little one.
[x]. you drink? = yes.
[x]. you do drugs? = no.
[x]. you smoke? = eh, not anymore.
[x]. you like cleaning? = no.
[x]. you like roller coasters? = yes..they are fun.
[x]. you write in cursive or print? = print.
[x]. you carry a donor card? = no.

for or against
[x]. long distance relationships = for
[x]. using someone = against
[x]. suicide = against
[x]. killing people = against
[x]. teenage smoking = i dont really care.
[x]. doing drugs = i dont really care if my friends do it, i cant control it.
[x]. premarital sex = uhm, for?.. i guess. It doesnt matter, like ive said before.
[x]. driving drunk = against
[x]. gay/lesbian relationships = for
[x]. soap operas = for, maybe one or two.

favorite
[x]. food = really, its salad and pizza.
[x]. thing to do = music, friends, him, myspace.
[x]. thing to talk about = music, randomness.
[x]. sports = softball.
[x]. drinks = soda(its an addiction), water.
[x]. clothes = uhm, shirt/sweater/jacket, jeans, scarves, belt, shoes.
[x]. movies = napoleon dynamite,willy wonka, valley girl, lion king.
[x]. bands = underOATH, blood brothers, the bled, bright eyes, the used, thursday, senses fail, my chemical romance, coheed and cambria, taking back sunday.
[x]. holiday = Christmas
[x]. cars = uhm, im not really sure.

have you ever
[x]. cried over a guy/girl? = of course.
[x]. lied to someone? = yes, unfortunatly.
[x]. been in a fist fight? = no.
[x]. been arrested? = no.

what
[x]. shampoo do you use? = herbal essences, and some other brand.
[x]. perfume do you use? = whatever i find at the stores that smells good.--victoria secret, basically.
[x]. shoes do you wear? = chucks, some other brand, Sugar?!..they looked cool.
[x]. are you scared of? = spiders.

number of
[x]. times I have been in love? = never, which is kind of tragic. Like everyone of my friends have been =[ .It might be a good thing as well because they always end up getting hurt.

[x]. times I have had my heart broken? = psh, who knows.
[x]. hearts I have broken? = I think one.
[x]. boys I have kissed? = um...Alex asked me this before, i think i came up with 12 or 13.
[x]. girls I have kissed? = none, but that doesnt mean anything.
[x]. men I've slept with? = as in actually 'sleeping' or 'sex' Ive slept with about 3 boys. and had sex with one.
[x]. girls I've slept with? = none
[x]. continents I have lived in? = 1
[x]. drugs taken illegally? = none.
[x]. people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = probably 7.
[x]. people I consider my enemies? = queite a few.
[x]. people from high school that I stayed in contact with? = stephanie, known her since we were both one year of age, iloveher.
[x]. cd's that I own? = uhm, i dont buy cds much, but i burn a lot, because i have no job. I dont want to count.
[x]. times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = twice, i believe.
[x]. scars on my body? = two, right above my bellybutton, one right behind my left or right ear.
[x]. things in my past that I regret? = having sex.

choked.
swallow me like wine.

Disasterous. [09 Jan 2005|02:49pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Saturday night... spent my night with.. Drew Sam Tiffany Lacie Leah Alex and Dustin.
Spent half our night finding a damn ride to Drew's house and a ride back to my house.
Trent finnaly came and picked us up around 9:30.
We arrived at Drews, stayed for about an hour 1/2. ...I had fun, I got to see Drew, what could be better than that? (Trent sorry if we got you in trouble, really, and thank you.)
His dad arrived home so we ran to UDF like a little crew of deer.
Stopped at UDF for some coffee, while I found out that Dustin and Alex were found by my parentals in my camper WITHOUT US THERE! I got yelled at for that a tid bit.
Tiffany grandmother picked us up and we arrived back at my house.
My parents scolded at me some more.
Uhm, I kicked out Dustin and Alex.
Dustin rode home with Kristi
Alex got a cab at about 3 in the morning. I felt terrible because I made him leave, But i got in mass trouble for all of it.
Ilove my friends.
My night pretty mcuh sucked, at least I got to see Drew and spend the night with my friends, so it wasnt bad. It was fun actually.

Click here for 2 more exciting stories that happened to us last night hahaaCollapse )

2 choked.
swallow me like wine.

Another hole to sympothize yourself. [06 Jan 2005|05:23pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Today was good. School of course sucked.
Highlight of my entire day... Seeing Drew <33
Tiffany Schneider..Iloveyou, your my shiney ray of light<--(sunshine?)
Enjoy...
I was bored.Collapse )

6 choked.
swallow me like wine.

Birthday [05 Jan 2005|04:58pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
Happy Sweet Sixteen to Jamie Young!!
PARTAYYYCollapse )

choked.
swallow me like wine.

[04 Jan 2005|03:33pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Today pretty much sucked. It went by oh so slow. I didnt get to see Drew today, hes suspended. Uhm lots of drama went on today. Counseler wont let me switch small school, therefore im angry. Recieved a saturday school for "refusing to skip 2 detentions" Uhh yeah. Tomorrow should be better.

Mmmhm, I love my friends.Collapse )

5 choked.
swallow me like wine.

[02 Jan 2005|08:45pm]
DEAR GOD!

this is Tiffany.
Kandas is at my house.
we are laughing.
the end.
choked.
swallow me like wine.

Your letting his heart sink too close to yours...STOP [02 Jan 2005|04:33pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

New Years.. I went to Leah's house. We all had so much fun. I wish Drew could have been there with us, we all miss him oh so much. I fell asleep around 3:00 am and everybody else was awake. I love my friends..really I do. I dont feel like typing every little detail on my past 3 nights...they have been wonderful, but im too tired to tell you.
-Last night, I hung out with Tiffany ,Kevin ,Dustin, Dustin ,Lacie, and Leah. We hung out at Bethel for a tid bit then got pulled over by the cops because DUSTIN thought he'dbe cool and throw a large object out of the car window<--thats not really why we were pulled over though. We thought it was, and we started panicing but the cop said that we were following a truck wayyy to close. Our hearts came back to life after he told us that. Kevin got away with a verbal warning.. "Next time you'll get away with an Anal Warning".. Dustin Balzhiser states while sitting in the back seat hahaa. That kid is soo funny, hes so cool too. Then we went to Eastgate and hung out with Lacie and Leah at Leahs house. Traveled to Steak and Shake... Leah riding in the trunk of the car. Then Kevin took us all home, I was online until about 4:30 am talking to Alex, Alex, and Dustin. I fell asleep and didnt wake up until 4:00 pm. Now im angry because ive wasted almost my entire day. Well im going now... I dont have any pictures because my camera has been dead all weekend =[ sorry.
I miss Drew, I cant wait to school starts so I can see him =]

2 choked.
swallow me like wine.

I wish he could be with me tonight... [31 Dec 2004|04:20pm]
[ mood | excited ]

So last night, Sam,Lacie,Tiffany,Leah,and I all had a suprise birthday party for Jamie Suli Young AHAHAHAA<--iheartyou Jamie. It was quiete the interesting night. Stayed all night in a hotel. Slept in Bathroom with Tiffany (in the tub)and Sam underneath the sink. Cheered up Tiffany. Walked to Meijer in the freezing cold. Smoked. Found Tiffanys cell phone thanks to the light of God. Read 'The perks of being a wallflower'.. Its a really good book so far. Watched Leah, Jamie, and Sam swim in the pool. Leah looked like an evil fucking MONSTER! hahaa. God i love my friends. They are extremly the best.

Tonight..Happy New Years Eve!
Party at Leahs @7:00..hooray! Im excited.
Ilove all of them I really do..(friends). I wish Drew could be with me at the party tonight. I havent seen him in a few days Imisshim. The friends miss him as well, they wanted to kidnap him and have him come to the party with us. I call his house today to say Happy New years Eve, but nobody answered, I at leat attempted to call him even if he wasnt allowed on the phone, it was worth a try hehee.
<3

choked.
swallow me like wine.

[29 Dec 2004|03:49pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Last night I went to the mall with Tricia and Molly. Caren was supposed to go but she wasnt allowed it was very sad, because imissher. I only stayed at the mall for baout an hour or so. I bought a green shirt, its oh so pretty..i dont have any green shirts so I was excited.
I then got a phone call from Stephanie, and since I hadnt seen her in the longest time, I decided to tag along with her, her boyfriend, and his gangster friends. Man that was the worst, but it was also rather amusing. I was on the phone with Drew through half the movie and he was giving me some pointers on how to make fun of the wiggers hahahaa. He is so great!!
Somebody needs to come over tonight and visit me because my parental figures will be gone all night, and Ill be bored. I wish somebody would suprise me with Drew at my front door, possibly a big red ribbon on his head hehee. <--so cute. Hes such a wonderful boy.
Im going to go now. byebye.<3

choked.
swallow me like wine.

Must you be so impatient?... I'll be there I promise. [28 Dec 2004|02:15am]
[ mood | Happy&Cold&Sleepy. ]

Lets see... I woke up at about 2:30 pm this afternoon, I guess I shouldnt have stayed up til 3 in the morning, on the internet. Its okay though because I was talking to Drew, he makes me oh so happy. =]
Today I did nothing until about 8, Kristi came and picked me up and I made ehr a present, which I thought was cute. I wanted to cheer her up because iloveher dearly. We drove to Drew's house to visit him, on the way we got effing lost. Kristi and I are both bad w/ directions so it was bad. We found our way though. We ventured a few times outside to UDF&Playground&such. it was quiete fun but FREEEEEZING! I had a fun time though. He is so...gosh...WONDERFUL!<3 I love being around him, talking to him, thinking about him. Its a magical feeling (hahaa)<--yes I just made myself laugh.
Well we left there at about 11:15 and came back home to hear my dad complain about some more shit, what else is new? Another thing that makes me happy is the fact on how im getting used to hearing this everyday now, that it hardly bothers me. It actually makes me giggle quietly to myself, rather than tear up how I used too. Its getting better and iloveit.
im sleepy, I need some rest. Enjoy some pictures.. I have more but they wont upload onto here for some reason right now, I will try again tomorrow.


<3Drew
--goodnight.
your beauty hits me like a pair of rapid ocean waves.Collapse )

6 choked.
swallow me like wine.

[26 Dec 2004|10:41pm]
[ mood | Extremely HAPPY! ]

I think Im the happiest person alive right now.
Last night I went to Tiffany's house and had a grand old time. Drew and I are going out now, hes so amazing...amazing doesnt even being to describe him<333
Im so happy, I havent seen him in 4 days, that part sucks.

Caren is singing to me right now on the phone, the sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G song hahahaa, iloveher oh so much<3

yayh, the blood brothers, they are o incredibly great, yet Underoath is STILL better!! Yeah im sleepy. and i dont feel like typing much, i just thought id update a tid bit.

2 choked.
swallow me like wine.

tis the season... [24 Dec 2004|11:48am]
[ mood | Christmas Spirited. ]

Christmas Eve... Hooray!!
Santa visits my house tonight, he might steal my cookies, AHHHH!

choked.
swallow me like wine.

[23 Dec 2004|12:17pm]
[ mood | awake ]

Happy 16th Birthday to Tiffany Diana Schneider!
lets sing.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday Dear, Tiffanyyyyy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!

Happy Sweet Sixteen
Iloveyou Tiffany oh so dearly. I made you a miniature snowman, but it kinda got messed up a tid bit, I'll still bring it to you.
I hope your birthday goes well, iloveyou<3

1 choked.
swallow me like wine.

a little something for you. [22 Dec 2004|06:26pm]
[ mood | happy/lonely/sad ]

You,
Yes YOU! (I really hope you get the point to who this is to)
I really wish you would go back to how you used to be. I love the way you are now, you are such a good friend and so fun to be around. But lately, ive opened my eyes, and you havent been treating me as a friend should treat another. I dont really know why im still friends with you to this day from the shit you have done to me in the past, the ignorance that has came into your life. Its some what pathetic, i should say. Im not mad at you and I still want to be friends with you, because that is how much you really mean to me. You act as if im not even there anymore, you only act like you care when i desperatly need somebody there with me. Ive met better friends than you in the past 3 weeks that have actually made me feel as if i were there friend.
My question to you: Why must you continue lying/talking to and about me & why must you act as you care only when I let you know how much you angry me when you act like you dont care? Im dying to know, its killing me. I dont understand you anymore, you sued to be my best friend, and now I cant even attempt to say your name and 'best friend' in the same sentance. Its rather pathetic itself as well. Iloveyou and always will, I just dont understand you anymore, you've changed in so many ways, its odd. I just dont know how else to tell you without putting it like I just did.
-try to understand, without putting yourself down deeply, please. =\

choked.
swallow me like wine.

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